10 Reasons Why Intelligent Men Fail With Women
This is a First Article from David DeAngelo back in the early 2000s.
I've been teaching men how to become more successful with women and dating for several years now... and one"problem scenario" just keeps coming up OVER AND OVER... and OVER
and OVER and OVER again...
...and it is actually amazes me.
"The Genius Failure Paradox" is the trend for UNUSUALLY smart men to have very LOW levels of succeeding with women and dating.
After considering this specific paradox, discussing it, and working on it to get an awesome amount of time, I'd love to share my ideas about it with you.
I presume that in the event that you've read this far, you then see likely yourself as smarter than the average man.
You know that you are somewhat different than other men.
You probably realized at a young age that you saw matters differently, and thought differently than others in school...
And you have probably realized that your smart mind gives you an advantage over others in several areas of life...
Your smart mind gives you a particular type of advantage that can be very, very powerful in life: YOU'RE USUALLY RIGHT.
Smart people become used to being"right", since they generally ARE right.
And when you are RIGHT more frequently than other people, you can get ahead in many situations.
By the way, I did say WORSE than useless.
It may actually be like having a hammer when you need to tighten a bolt. If you use the tool you have for your job, you'll most likely make the situation WORSE.
Of course, it's hard for a smart man to even IMAGINE a situation where his smart thoughts could HURT his odds for success...
But trust me, this is one of those scenarios.
So relax, open your smart mind, and let me share with you the ten reasons why smart guys fail with women... and what to do about it.
REASON #1: THEY'RE WRONG, BUT THEY CAN'T OR WON'T SEE IT OR ADMIT IT
I mentioned that smart guys are Utilized to being RIGHT in most situations.
And what do most smart guys do if they come across a situation where they are WRONG?
They find a new situation... one that fits their strength. They know they will be right next time, so they just walk away... knowing it will not be long until they are straight again.
(OR they let the"problem scenario" destroy them... more on that later.)
There is no quick"I am right" around the next corner to make you feel better.
It merely takes"failing" with a few girls in a row for a smart guy to see the pattern... and recognize that something is not working.
Solution? Think harder.
A smart guy just assumes his logic must be good... so he just keeps thinking harder.
But when no success stems, it truly begins
to become mentally difficult.
Accepting that you're wrong is a very difficult thing for a"smart man".
Accepting that you are not just incorrect, but you don't have any CLUE WHERE TO EVEN START is much more difficult.
Ultimately, many smart guys come up with the following logical conclusion:
I'm a Wise GUY, THEREFORE IF I CAN'T Work out How TO BE SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN AND DATING, THEN THE PROBLEM MUST NOT BE SOLVABLE OR WORTH SOLVING.
Try that to get a self-defeating idea.
REASON #2: THEY'RE BLIND AND ARROGANT
In short, many smart guys refuse to accept this a good, strong, viable answer could come from someone"dumber" than them, so they dismiss any idea that comes from an"obviously less smart person" before attempting it.
Let me ask you a question:
In case you were going to be walking across Africa on foot, would you rather have your guide be the man on this world with the greatest I.Q., or even a caveman who lived just a thousand years back that had an I.Q. of roughly 50... but who grew up being chased by lions and all types of animals that wanted to eat him all his life?
It is a fascinating question.
Now, hopefully you would like to have the guide who isn't the smartest guy around... but who's escaped out of many, many dangerous situations with deadly creatures...
But now allow me to ask you:
In case you want to learn how to be more successful with women and dating, would you take advice from a guy who isn't very smart, but that knows how to attract girls?
There's something about being smart that makes some guys unwilling to take input, ideas, or instruction from anyone that is not either as smart or smarter than them.
Well, any SMART GUY is able to see the folly in this specific approach... once it's examined closely.
If you have been making this error, then you need to STOP IT.
Look around.
Learn from some"dumb" guys... and allow them to teach you how to get what you REALLY need.
REASON #3: POOR SOCIAL SKILLS
It BLOWS MY MIND how many smart men I meet that simply don't GET IT when it comes to basic social skills.
It's as if they have logically concluded that social skills are for reduced beings who need to play games... and not really worth the time it would have to learn them.
Actually, I believe there are a lot of
smart guys running around this world who do not
have"social skills" and"be a cool guy that people love" within their"MENTAL MODEL" of what it might possibly take to be successful with women and dating.
Social skills are just that... SKILLS.
They are not social INFORMATION.
They're not social THEORIES.
They're social SKILLS.
And you do not get them THINKING about them. You get them GETTING them.
Excellent social skills are the foundation for good communication with other humans... and in case you do not have good social skills, you dramatically reduce your chances for success with girls.
REASON #4: THEY PSYCH THEMSELVES OUT
Smart guys do something which fascinates the hell out of me...
They think of the reasons why everything WON'T WORK when it comes to women and dating.
They really figure out why what they'd love to do will probably fail...
They use their awesome creative imaginations to imagine all kinds of horrible pictures http://edition.cnn.com/search/?text=seduction and scenes... and then they use those fanciful results to create negative emotions... which ultimately prevent them from having success with women and dating.
THEY DON'T EVEN TRY.
Now, in case you have thought something through and come up with a fantastic reason it might fail, it makes sense not to do it, right?
I mean, why would you need to do things which will fail?
It is sound logic, however HORRIBLE believing when it comes to the REAL WORLD... and success with women.
Because smart guys don't UNDERSTAND women, and they do not UNDERSTAND what is needed to be successful with girls, they're working with bad figures. They are wrong before they even start figuring!
Using your mind to come up with the reasons why things won't operate in this area of your own life leads to ULTIMATE FAILURE.
You have to learn to overcome this habit if you've got it.
REASON #5: THEY SEEK ONLY"INFORMATIONAL SOLUTIONS"
What does a wise guy do when he runs into a problem... or he needs to figure something out?
He looks for INFORMATION to help him solve the problem.
MORE INFORMATION is always the answer.
Info is the buddy of a wise guy.
Obtained a strange virus onto your computer? Just hop online and find out how to eliminate it.
Do not know how to change the alternator on your car? No prob. Simply purchase the guide and turn to page 147.
Don't know the definition of a phrase? Open up your dictionary.
What exactly do smart guys do when it comes to overcoming a issue with girls?
They believe the answer lies in learning just ONE MORE TECHNIQUE... or a more magical concept.
Well what if there were a situation in life where the"get more information" strategy actually made things WORSE?
How do you even know that it was making matters worse?
NowI really don't want to imply that studying more about the way to be successful with women is a bad thing. It's not.
But in case you have an issue that is EMOTIONAL or PHYSICAL in nature, then reading five million theories on it likely isn't going to help you very much.
You need to get out in the real world and try some stuff!
You Want to look at the REAL problem... that the ROOT of the problem.
In regards to dating and women, there is an excellent chance that you have MORE than sufficient"data".
Smart men often use"more info" to distract them from TAKING ACTION.
I've heard this called"Creative Avoidance".
Nod softly in the event that you've ever figured out a creative way to avoid confronting something on your life.
Good, thank you.
Women feel ATTRACTION for men who make them FEEL.
So what do most smart guys do when they meet a girl?
EXACTLY!
They become a LOGICAL CONVERSATION.
I am shaking my head right now...
Smart guys attempt to engage girls in LOGICAL conversations and interactions because that's where THEY feel comfortable... not understanding they're SHOOTING THELSEVES IN THE FOOT by doing it!
If you begin a logical conversation with a girl you have just met, you are basically taking out a NEON SIGN that says"I do not get it when it comes to women" and putting it on your head.
Typical"logical" discussions include things like talking about work, family, faculty, and tasks... talking politics, religion, weather... and anything that has to do with mathematics, science, or even INTELLIGENCE.
On the other hand, if you start speaking to some woman and you say"OK, so tell me something... Why is it that most girls say that they desire candy, nice guys... but they all date hot, selfish bad boys?" (and then make fun of any answer she gives) you're having an EMOTIONAL conversation.
If you don't know what I am talking about, continue reading. You need more help than I thought.
If you're taking an examination, you could sit and work out the responses.
When you have a math problem, you can work on it till you have figured out it.
If you are trying to correct something, you can keep working on it until it is fixed.
Smart men are utilized to having the ability to take at least a small bit of time to prepare and flaunt their"good sides" in many situations.
Not so with girls...
in case you don't know what to do at each step along the way, you are going to be shut down very quickly.
Women have an AMAZING"He doesn't get it" radar program.
Girls have all kinds of subtle and innovative tests that they throw men to separate the"get its" from the"don't get its".
And if you don't get that, then you are going to fail one of these tests VERY quickly.
However, the worst part is you won't ever KNOW you were being analyzed... OR you failed.
Smart men aren't used to dealing with complicated EMOTIONAL and COMMUNICATION challenges in the moment... and particularly the"women and dating" type.
But before you can find out how to take care of the tests, you must first learn how to communicate on an emotional level, the way to demonstrate that you have basic social abilities, and how to keep your cool in the moment.
2) Find out about her favourite travel destination so that you could talk about it with her.
OK, time's up.
Now, I mentioned that this is a TRICK question.
However WHY?
These three options all seemed plausible, right?
I mean, why WOULDN'T you wish to appear with her favorite flowers?
Why WOULDN'T you want to discuss her favorite places to travel?
Why WOULDN'T you wish to take her to eat her favorite foods so she enjoyed herself?
Move with me here...
Smart men believe they're being CLEVER if they do things like purchasing a girl her favorite flowers... and bringing them to the FIRST DATE.
Proper?
In their heads, they are thinking"I'm going to be the man who is thinking ahead... and I'm going to show up with the flowers that I KNOW she loves... and she's going to see them and like me because of it".
Makes sense... good mathematics, right?
Well the sole teensy-weensy mistake that these"smart" men make isn't realizing that it does not really take a wise person to think in this way!
Actually, ANY jackass can figure out how to kiss a lady's ass.
And guess what?
WOMEN KNOW THIS!
And guess what else?
A smart guy, in his proud arrogance, will believe he's being such the charmer by using this"thoughtful" approach...
...and the woman he's pursuing will translate it as another Wussy who is trying to MANIPULATE her. Another blow to intelligence.
Have you ever met somebody who would really argue with you about something they knew nothing about... and make a fool of themselves because they simply could not close their"smart mouths"?
Throughout the past few years helping men improve their success with women, I visit that this 1 pattern over and over again...
Smart guys don't want to be"beginners" in ANYTHING.
They do not like the idea of screwing up... especially if they're watching.
They wish to keep this"smart guy" picture of themselves... so they try to always be"The Pro" at anything they do.
Rather than saying"Hey, you know what? I am a beginner at this... how do I do it? What should I do first? What ?" ... and rather than being totally OK with screwing up, making errors, and making a fool of themselves in front of other people in order to LEARN...
...they won't risk embarrassment, failure, or others thinking they're beginners... so they end up ultimately FAILING.
MORE NEWS JUST IN: It is OK to be a beginner.
MISTAKE #10: THEY CAN'T DEAL WITH FEAR AND OTHER EMOTIONS
A clever guy's STRENGTH is his MIND.
His WEAKNESS is frequently his EMOTIONS.
Smart guys are often IMMOBILIZED by FEAR.
Totally stopped.
And since many smart guys are not comfortable dealing with things they're bad at, they just repress or RUN from fear.
Many men would rather DIE in lonely isolation than admit they don't know how to take care of their emotions... or, GODFORBID, ask for assistance!
I know what it's like.
But the truth is that any man can learn how to handle and even MASTER his emotions (even panic )... when he just takes the time and effort to learn HOW to do it.
If that is you, then do yourself a big favor... take the time. Take the effort.
Don't worry about what anyone else thinks of you... it doesn't matter.
What's that you doing the things that YOU want to do FOR YOU.
...I think the reason I'm so fascinated with"The Genius Failure Paradox" is because I have had to fight with each these issues for a whole lot of years of my life.
Now, I'm not saying that I'm the smartest guy on the planet...
However, I do not think mamma raised no fool.
Plus it always bothered the hell out of me even though I had been so good at figuring out things, I couldn't figure WOMEN out.
Something tells me that you know what I'm speaking about.
Well, after beating my head against the wall for a couple years... attempting all kinds of crazy"logical" stuff... I finally got the"bright" idea to begin studying men who were"naturally" good with women.
Of course, I found out that you might be equally NOT SMART, and VERY SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN at precisely the same moment.
I also heard you are able to be wise and VERY SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN too.
By carefully analyzing what the"naturals" did with women... and learning how they"thought" about the topic, I started to realize that success with women was not entirely LOGICAL.
A lot of what I jak zagadać do dziewczyny heard was quite tough for me to accept... because my logical brain simply didn't want to purchase it.
One thing that I saw was men pushing women away from them... and with the girls then chase them in response.
Made no sense in any respect.
I saw men tease beautiful women and make jokes about them to their faces... and then watched those girls become"little women" in response... unable to keep their composure, and therefore not able to maintain their manipulative power...
It took me quite a long time, but I continued to learn, test, and refine what I was studying until I personally figured out how to approach women in any situation... get any woman's number I wanted anytime I wanted... date some other type of woman I desired...
...and most importantly, knock out the"empty" feeling that I carried around my whole life because I didn't know how to draw women.
And once I got this region of my own life together, I decided to help other guys get this region of THEIR lives collectively.
The ultimate effect of all this time, effort, and energy is my free Secret Society Letters.
And I'd love to invite you to register.
It is free, there's no obligation, I'll never share your email address with anybody, and you can easily remove yourself anytime with no hassles (and no, I'll never pull any of these tricks where I send you a lot of unwanted junk email when you try to remove yourself).
Of course, it even gets better than that...
as well as my free Secret Society Letter, I also have a killer downloadable eBook which you can download right now and be reading in literally MINUTES from right now.
And I will talk to you soon.